Twenty Five Mystery Science Theater 3000 Films That Changed My Life In No Way Whatsoever by Frank Conniff

Author:Frank Conniff [Conniff, Frank]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2016-08-20T07:00:00+00:00

F. B. I. Obscure Reference Task Force Report

Surprisingly, there are several references to things people have actually heard of in this chapter. Even My Mother The Car is not completely obscure, because even though it lasted only one season, it is notorious for having the most ridiculous premise for a TV show ever, until The O'Reilly Factor came along.

13. MONSTER A-GO-GO

Directed by Bill Rebane

Starring some people

Oh, crap, this one sucks, too. I don’t even remember seeing it, but every MST3K site on the internet tells me that I found it and I watched it. I don’t have plausible deniability about this. I saw Monster a-Go-Go multiple times and I have to face the consequences.

I guess I should go online and research the plot and the incidents that make up Monster a-Go-Go, but on the other hand, if Robert Caro wrote a four volume historical study about the making of Monster a-Go-Go, no one would blame him if he refused to watch the actual film. But some might say, well, come on, just go find the episode and watch it again. And to those people I can only reply: why do you wish me harm? What have I ever done to hurt you except maybe pull Monster a-Go-Go out of a box of VHS tapes and recommend it to the rest of the MST3K staff, and then stand by complacently as the worst case scenario happened and we actually riffed the damn thing and put it on the air?

Look, admittedly, you have every reason to hate me and can easily build an incriminating case against me, but please show some compassion. There but for the grace of a-go-go go you.

Anyway, I just went on the Internet and read a synopsis of Monster a-Go-Go and now that I’ve done that… I’ve forgotten the synopsis. Reading it did not refresh my memory at all. And this is a film that I know I binge watched.

Well, not exactly. I should explain that binge watching when you work at MST3K is different than when you binge watch a show on Netflix. When you watch most of a season of, say, House of Cards, in a single sitting, you might spend up to eight hours watching eight episodes of the show. But binge watching at MST3K meant slowly and methodically watching one movie over an eight hour period. One movie. For eight hours. One shitty movie. For eight hours. Monster-a-Go-Go. For eight hours. The fact that this kind of binge-watching never led to binge-drinking on my part is a miracle I will always be grateful for.

Life is precious. We have a limited time to spend on this earth. One day it will all be over, so while we’re here, we must at least try to experience everything to the utmost. So then why did I allow myself to watch Monster a-Go-Go six or seven times?

Actually, that’s easy to answer. I watched it six or seven times because it was my job to watch it six or seven times.

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